From the Greenock Telegraph and Clyde Shipping Gazette, 27 September 1895, this account of a legal tussle at the Killorglin Petty Sessions between two women smitten with the same man, with a dialogue worthy of – and perhaps an inspiration for – JM Synge:

“AN IRISH DON JUAN

At the Killorglin Petty Sessions (says the Freeman’s Journal) an interesting and amusing case was heard. The case was at the suit of two respectable young women of the farming class, and it arose from a spirit of rivalry as to their relative claims on a young man of the same class.

The litigants were Miss Ellie O’Connor and Miss Anne Kennedy. There were cross-summonses on both sides. The first called was O’Connor v. Kennedy for abusive language and assault.

Miss O’Connor, on being sworn, stated: On Sunday fortnight I walked home with my young man. We sat on the wall of the bridge near Dooks –

Miss Kennedy: You are telling lies. I was courting him for three years before you. (Laughter.)

Witness (continuing): I was not long sitting there when Anne Kennedy came up to me, and after standing alongside us, she went over to the side of the road and took up a ‘kiraun’ of turf and hit me between the eyes. (Laughter.)

Mr. Broderick: What did she do that for?

Witness: Because I came between her and her boy, and I’m a better-looking girl than ever she was. (Laughter).

Mr. Moriarty: What did your boy do?

Witness: He jumped down off the wall and ran away. (Laughter.)

Mr. Broderick: The age of chivalry is gone. (Laughter.)

Miss Kennedy: No, your Worship. She is swearing false. He came over to me. (Laughter.)

Mr. Moriarty: He returned to his old love. (Renewed laughter.)

Defendant: It’s bad right he had to leave me. (Laughter.)

Cross examined by Mr. Broderick. Wasn’t the defendant courting this young woman before you?

Witness: Well, he was, but he took a stronger liking to me. And you know, Mr. Broderick, ‘all’s fair in love and war.’ (Laughter.)

Mr. Broderick. What is this young Don Juan’s name, miss? (Laughter.)

Witness: Paddy Moriarty, sir. (Laughter.)

Mr. Broderick: Have you summoned him as a witness here today?

Complainant: Do you think I make so little of him? (Laughter.)

Defendant: She knows that he would swear for me. (Laughter.)

Miss O’Connor: All right, Miss Anne. (Laughter.)

The cross-case was then gone into. Miss Anne Kennedy deposed that when returning from Mass she saw Ellie O’Connor sitting on the bridge with Paddy Moriarty.

Witness: Your Worship, she laughed at me and then I took up a small piece of a ‘kiraun’ to fire at Paddy out of fun. (Laughter.)  She then jumped off the wall, she tore the hat from my head and struck me on the nose with her umbrella.

Mr. Moriarty: What was Paddy doing during the row?  Witness: He walked away with disdain. (Great laughter.)

Mr. Moriarty: Isn’t this all jealousy on your part? Witness: No, Sir. Paddy is as true as steel to me. (Laughter.)

Miss O’Connor:  You’re greatly mistaken. (Renewed laughter.)

Mr. Broderick:  I think Paddy is a pliable kind of metal. (Laughter.)

Mr. Moriarty: He is in good demand at all events. (Laughter.)  In reply to Mr. Moriarty, Miss Kennedy stated that it was at the last fair in Skibbereen she got to be ‘friends’ with Moriarty. She knew that Ellie O’Connor was friendly to him for two years before then.

 Mr. Moriarty: And why did you come inside her?

Witness: Because he is getting tired of her and I’m a better-looking woman than she is. (Laughter.)

Mr. Broderick: You would both get prizes at the beauty show if you had to enter. (Renewed laughter.)

Miss O’Connor: Indeed, then it is humbugging me you are, Mr. Broderick.

Mr. Moriarty: I think that it is poor Paddy that is properly humbugged between you.

Miss Kennedy: You are greatly mistaken, sir. (Laughter.)

The Bench decided upon dismissing the cases.”

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